Assertiveness is a life skill that involves being able to express your thoughts and feelings in a confident, polite, and reasonable way. It is important for people to be assertive because it helps them create healthy relationships with other people. It also helps people to take care of themselves the best way they can. It is the opposite of being passive or aggressive. Passive people tend to avoid conflict and are willing to let others take advantage of them. They are also likely to not be strong or assertive enough to stand up for themselves when they need to. Assertive people are able to stand up for themselves and put their needs first without being rude. They do not back down from conflict or give in just because someone asks them too. In contrast to aggression, which is the forceful expression of one’s own desires, assertiveness is the active expression of one’s ideas and feelings in a non-aggressive manner. The media is full of passivity and aggression and we are bombarded with them all the time. Thus, we end up copying passive or aggressive behaviour. It is time to unlearn those, and learn how to be assertive.
1. Overcome shyness
Shyness is a feeling of anxiety or self-consciousness that makes it difficult for people to act in social or professional settings. For some people the feelings may be so strong that they are unable to interact with other people at all. It is important for shy people to understand how the behavior they exhibit affects others and what can be done to help them overcome shyness. By overcoming shyness they can also become more assertive. There are ways of coping with shyness and overcoming your inhibitions to become more assertive. One way is to take small steps at a time. For example, if you want to be more social, start by talking to one person at your work, university, or even your local grocery. Start with yourself or just talk about your day. Begin small and work your way up as you feel comfortable. Another suggestion would be for the person who is shy to come up with a mantra or affirmation that they can repeat when feeling anxious in order to talk themselves down from their anxiety. When feeling negative emotions such as anger, disappointment, sadness, or fear try saying something positive instead of dwelling on what made you feel bad in the first place which could worsen a bad mood.
2. Handling stress
Stress is a natural response when we are faced with challenges in our lives. If handled properly, stress can help us assert ourselves more confidently. When we’re able to be more proactive with coping with stress-inducing situations as they arise, we get a better grip on our lives. Stress can motivate us to make a change and take action. By not letting our worries get the best of us, we learn to be assertive and take control of our personal lives. There are some ways in which handling stress will help people become more assertive. Stress can cause a person to be more aggressive because they’re always on edge and ready for a physical altercation or argument with the first person they see. This leads to an inability to communicate effectively with others and being unable to take control of stressful situations which can lead to even more stress. Handling stress by being able to relax and keep calm might sound counterproductive but it’s not when you look at the big picture. Being able to stay calm will allow you time for rational thought instead of just fighting back out of anger or fear like most people do when stressed out. You’ll also have less arguments with loved ones or coworkers because you’ll be able to understand their point of view instead of just jumping down their throat and blowing up over nothing. Notice how this is a much healthier way of dealing with stress? When taking these methods into account, it’s quite evident that handling stress helps us become more assertive in every aspect of life: communication skills, relationships, work life balance – everything!
3. Managing your feelings
Managing one’s feelings can help one be more assertive. When people are in a bad mood, they may be less likely to speak up and say what they want for fear of offending someone else. This is called passive aggressiveness. People who are assertive will try not to let their emotions take over them when they want to say something controversial or while they are in a bad mood. One can manage one’s feelings by identifying them, recognizing where they come from, and accepting them in order to let go of them. Managing feelings can be challenging because it requires a person to deal with their hurtful emotions. It is hard to know, but many people find that being assertive is more helpful in the long run than bottling up their feelings and dealing with them later. When a person tries to be assertive, they are able to communicate what they want or need without feeling too vulnerable or hurt by the other person’s reaction. This allows for more productive conversations and better relationships as well.
4. Learning to say no
Some people have a tendency to say “yes” to everything, even if they don’t want to do it. Saying “no” is an important part of being assertive, which means standing up for oneself and not letting others take advantage of them. Saying no can help someone be more assertive in a number of ways. Saying no to something means that the person is setting boundaries on their life and not letting others take control of them. This also has the potential to make someone less stressed because they are not having to do all of the things that they don’t want to do. It is difficult to do at times, but it can really help you feel good about yourself and your decisions. Saying no to things that are not worth your time or energy is a simple way to be more assertive without even having to say anything at all. Saying no will also give you a chance to develop your self-respect and independence.
5. Expressing your needs
Expressing our needs helps us be more assertive. This is because we are more likely to get what we want and need if we ask for it. Expressing our needs is also great because when we do it, there is less of a chance that we will be taken advantage of or put into situations that are not in our best interests. One way to express our needs is by verbalizing them, so that others are aware of what we need or want. Another way is by stating how a situation makes us feel. This helps people understand how they can change their actions which will allow us to have a better reaction. People should express their needs because it teaches them how to be more self aware and learn more about who they are as a person as well as who the other person is. Expressing our needs is a two-way street where we get to know what someone else wants us to do and they get to know what we want them to do for us. There are many benefits to expressing our needs. It can make us feel better about ourselves, help us clarify what we want and need, give us a sense of control over our lives and relationships, and empower us to take much-needed steps towards fulfilling our goals. In this way, by communicating with others in an assertive manner, we can create a world where people speak their truths without fear of being judged or rejected.